The sun was shining through the windows
Of the cabin. The whole weekend, full of
Arguing and yelling. Nothing seemed
To go right. My dad came in, a worried, sad
Look covered his face. From that moment
I realized my life would not be the same.
It only took 7 words for the change to happen
From now on I would have 2 Christmas’ and
Get double the birthday presents. But I would
Never have my mom and dad together again.
The first few days dragged on, it felt so cold
And empty. The court date came, it was
The day to decide which parent to live with.
sitting there fear took over my body,
Emotions were racing through my mind. What
Is the right choice? Is the other parent going
to be mad they weren’t chosen? What
Happens if the other one disowns me? So
Many thoughts in a little girls mind. Confusion,
Sadness, fear, anger. Why is this happening I ask?
But no matter who gets asked the answer is
Always it just wasn’t meant to be. Crying took up
A lot of time. The world just seemed like a dark place,
Like nobody would understand.
Does this sound more like a story than a poem? or what are your thoughts?
How can I add more emotion to this?
I would say it does sound more like a story right now.
ReplyDeleteTo help this you may want to try to make it less event based and more based in the emotions going on inside of you. Like how ms Kronzer says its like looking through a one inch window or whatever. You wouldn't even necessarily have to blatantly reveal that it was divorce that is making you feel this way. That could be revealed in the title and then you could spend your time in the poem playing with the emotions youre struggling with.
Or just work with line breaks to play up the important parts. And exclude superfluous words. Have the mindset that every word you use in a poem should be purposeful.
Hope that helps some.